I'm lost and stupid without you.
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
