well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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