Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
