hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize