You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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