butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My balls are so social today.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
