The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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