ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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