theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Everything about him screamed your future.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
