He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
hell yes lets make some ravioli
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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