he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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