Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
