I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize