Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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