Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
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There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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