my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
third nipple confirmed
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Randomize