Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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