You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
we're chasing vodka with high fives
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
