happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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