Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
