she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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