Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Randomize
