i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
