So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
