Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
