Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
