the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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