I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize