I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
