You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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