I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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