1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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