Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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