Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Slut skills are useful in every country.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
