Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
