I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
