Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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