the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
