question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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