It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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