so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
