Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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