I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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