Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
