I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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