So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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