Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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