I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
