That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
