Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize