How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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