If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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