You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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