Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
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sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize