Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
