so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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