He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
