Christians are straight up FREAKS
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
